Loss of Opportunities

I used to have met with many opportunities either in academic, profession or private life.

With regards to academic, I have given up doctoral studies in a number of European and North American universities due to the private life arrangement, when I was engaged with a girl from Taiwan, because she could speak neither English, nor French nor Deutsch, and I have got a job in Taiwan (a Bechtel-Taiwan Joint venture) to unite with her but soon after she kicked me off..

And to take care of my parents, I cannot leave China and instead I have to stay in a city close to my hometown, where my parents live. Here there are barely opportunities in business. It is not an internationally recognized metropolis, few international companies come here for business, and local businesses are concentrated on light industry, textile, some simple IT, and tourism, few in the power industry.

There were many many cases where I sacrificed private arrangement to career or business development.

Lost Chances – or rather Lost Life

I come from an old family with long tradition and good education in a small rural town of Zhejiang province, China. But I was able to go to one of the most prestigious universities in China, and after graduation I was able to work at some of the best organizations, institutions and corporations of the world, and won many great opportunities in the academia, business and politics.

And if I have not sacrificed my entire myself

1. for my parents,
2. for my love,
3. for my faith in truth and
4. a number of other reasons in the past

– over 20 years now, I could have made much greater achievements now in any areas –

1. academia,
2. business and also
3. politics as well.

I used to be a happy man, a confident person. When people meet me on the streets, they smile at me, because I am so gentle a boy, very lovely and even handsome. But now I am shabby and downcast, looking very old, though I used to look many years younger than my colleagues at the same age.

I used to have had the best and most privileged opportunities in Academic, Political and Business areas, and if I have not sacrificed my entire myself for my parents, for my love, for my faith in truth and a number of other reasons in the past – over 20 years now, I could have made much greater achievements now in any of the above areas.

I am a Chinese citizen with good education (Master degree plus several PhD candidate options from western universities in the early 1990’s – such as University of Glasgow, University of Paris VII, University Laval, and even Harvard University for MPA (near admitted).). I have also tried very hard, in several fields like thermophysics, solar physics, and mathematics. My current and future focus will be on graph theory for computer chip design.

I speak English which is nearly my native language, and German, and some French and Russian. I am also acquainted a little with Greek, Hebrew, Latin and even Esperanto, the world language. With these languages I shall have no difficulty travelling and working around the globe.

I have served some of the key industrial corporations in my prior career such as Siemens, Alstom, Deutsche Babcock, Bechtel/Areva joint venture etc as well as the central Chinese government under the Ministry of Machinery Industry. And since then I have been working independently as a consultant and engineer in several industries, and currently my key business area is electricity power trading and consulting.

Such saying, I have a memorable past and some kind of success in everything I pursue. If China is not under dictatorship control, I shall make greater contribution to its wellbeing and help build China to become one of the most prosperous, most free and most happy countries of the world. I have even figured out how a new free and democratic system shall look like and work well, which will combine all the best systems – occidental, oriental, or any other nations - into one, together with some of my own discoveries and inventions and philosophy no one has realized yet. The current systems incl those in the most advanced ones such as those in the US and Europe are out of date after their operations of a few centuries. They need to be upgraded to embrace the world trends and also to cope with problems and development for the next century or millennium. The political systems have to adapt what are developed in the science, technologies, industries and commerce etc. Politics shall be not much more mysterious than commerce, industry, and social life.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Many – if not all – people will doubt why are you so dejected now when you have such an excellent past, why are you so poor when you have been in quite high status before? Many Chinese prosper themselves in courses of the last years and why you’re not if you claim to possess so many talents. This type of question has no simple answer. It needs a long essay to explain it. I will talk about it in another document, but here a brief outline: the reluctance to feed up the corrupt communist government hence the determination not to develop my business empire, and the monopoly of the government business and other factors preventing me from running a well-managed enterprise in China; the desire to care for my parents which disable my willingness to leave China and my abandoning of overseas studies and career due to an engagement with a lady from Taiwan etc etc.

Thus now I have no incentive to work in any companies or organizations or academia in China, because of the corrupt systems. I refuse to work for the government and refuse to work in any academic institutions controlled by them, as such the only option to me is to run my business online and do my researches alone, but this is becoming more and more infeasible because of the government crackdown on Internet freedom of information.

And hence I am currently suffering from serious economic shortage, therefore under my harsh conditions I don’t know when I can make some really significant achievements in my current research. No one really knows how difficult I am doing my research and no one knows how much I have suffered since 2000 after I left my last employer, and it’s hardly credible how to overcome all the loneliness, government suppression, misunderstanding, poverty, and loss of safety or protection, not talking about the loss of freedom and any kind of human rights. It has been a miserable times particularly for a person with some of the best talents.

As a result of these and other factors I am now retired to my homevillage in Zhejiang province, China to take care of my mother. But here I feel very upset by the current situations of my business, researches and life, as the general social, economic and political conditions are worsening day by day.

However, situation may change as well, if no western countries, organizations or people are willing to help me after so many years of hope, then I will yield to the Chinese government, cooperate with them and even assist in their power buildup. Many Chinese intellects are doing so and thus prosperous, why not me if the west reject me?

I have made many many wrong decisions, I have lost many many opportunities for the sake of others’ good, I have been humiliated by the very very low people at the time of my humiliation, and now I am in a very very bad condition. GOD, mercy on me!

For my Parents

My parents are always at the center of all of my thoughts, dreams, mission, plan, aim and purpose of life, career, passion and everything.
My lifetime goal is simple – to accompany and to take care of them at their old age.
My parents have drawn much of my attention and energy ever since my young age when I was still a university student till now.

For this I have to stay in China as explained below:

1. I cannot leave my dear parents, therefore I did not try to leave China, as I cannot live too far distant away from them. That’s why I didn’t try to move to other countries, although I have had plenty of chances with my education and language skills, which is very rare and unique.
2. That’s why I turned back from Canton to Shanghai in 1994 and from Beijing to Shanghai again in 2000 and finally from Shanghai to Hangzhou in 2001, which is now the biggest city closest to my parents.
3. For this reason I have returned to Huzhou from Hangzhou in 2011 and finally from downtown Huzhou to my home village in 2013.
4. For these I’ve given up my career in more opportunistic cities like Shanghai, Beijing, New York or Paris, to name a few.

For Engagement with Women

For example I have given up research and studies chances at some of the best universities of the world incl. University of Glasgow, University of Paris. Laval University, etc. for the sake of my then girlfriend.

I should be among the forerunner scientists if I didn’t give up the opportunities given to me over the past. I was ready to pursue my Ph.D. degrees in some of the most prestigious universities in the world incl.

1. Université de Pierre et Marie Curie in Paris (PhD for surface chemistry, 1991), ?
2. Université de Provence (PhD for surface chemistry, 1991),
3. University of Glasgow (PhD for gas turbine combustion research, 1991),
4. Université Laval (mechanical engineering, 1991, Canada),
5. Universit?t Gesamthochschule Essen (mechanical engineering, Germany, 1991), etc

only to give up due to an engagement with a girl from Taiwan, Republic of China, who spoke none of the languages of the countries these universities are located, and who has also brought police suspect to me because of the frequent cross-strait communications between her in Taichong and me at Daya Bay Nuclear Power Station (1990-1992). To join her in Taiwan, I have found a job in a joint venture between Bechtel and the Ministry of Industry & Science of Taiwan, only to give up later because of the breakdown of the relations.

My ex-wife has also damaged my career in one way or other.
For example when she and I was having fighting at home, I have to stay with her instead going to the company where there was an important event, where I can possibly get known with the then French President. But at that time I considered my quarreling wife was much more important than the French or any other president. And more harms have been exerted my ex-wife to my career in other companies too.?

Politic Reasons

The Ministry:
I have given up my political career at the Chinese Central Government (Ministry of Machine Industry) in the mid 80’s, also because of my refusal to collaborate with the corrupt and totalitarian government of China. I used to be a highly expected staff of the Ministry in Beijing when I was hardly 20 years old.If I did subject to the communist ideology, then I could be promoted to the top class officials in the central government after 26 years of work since 1983.

Business:
If I don’t mind the corrupt system in China, I would have developed a large business in whatever areas and earn big money. I could also have been a very successful entrepreneur in the solar business if I were willing to operate a big business, but I didn’t want to, because by doing so I am also collaborating with the corrupt officials and the systems. At times of solar boom I was able to secure solar orders from Europe worth dozens of millions of EURO.

Solar:
I could also have been a very successful entrepreneur in the solar business if I were willing to operate a big business, but I didn’t want to, because by doing so I am also collaborating with the corrupt officials and the systems. At times of solar boom I was able to secure solar orders from Europe worth dozens of millions of EURO. Nevertheless, I have successfully developed my solar portal,
won popularity among international solar communities. My ChinaSolar and ChinaPower reporting was accepted by some of the multinationals such as Bayer, Saint Gobaint and Mannesmann.

Tsinghua University:

I didn’t go to the Chinese education system for a career duo to the same reasons and because of the corruption there. In May 2009, I have turned down a visiting scholar offer to Tsinghua University by a CAS Academician for thermodynamics research in December 2008, because,
1) Beijing is two far away from my mother in Zhejiang,
2) Beijing is not the city I like,
3) I have no intention to continue my thermodynamics as I have changed my interests to Internet security for the battle against censorship imposed by the government sometime in March 2009,
4) I fear that the corrupt academic system will only destroy my competence, independence and freedom of research etc.? I’m of the opinion that there are no chances to win academic excellence under the current system.

I have also many other business chances but given up for the same reason.

I have also fought for freedom and democracy, and for that reason I have lost chances to win government relations and economic benefits since long.

Hukou Problem – Also Political System Related

Hukou means literally number of household but actually it is a system of population control and is a special problem in China, there is no English equivalence. Simply put, it is a system to restrain Chinese people to a small region where there are allowed to work and move. Therefore with this system movement in the country is extremely difficult, and doing business within this system is also difficult.

When I was in Shanghai in 1999 and 2000, I wanted to open my own business, but I have to go to Guangzhou to get all the licensees and certificates prepared where my Hukou was registered. Guangzhou is 1400 km distant from Shanghai and traveling several times between the two cities would involve huge money and of course lots of time. Therefore I have to give up the idea to own my own company. Without my own company I was barely able to develop my business in any sense. I moved later to Hangzhou because of one of them problems was this Hukou issue.But it was only found out the Hangzhou government was cheating us all.

Voice Problem

In early 1996 my voice was damaged, otherwise I was ready to switch to GE Shanghai as a regional manager and my career was going up like a rocket at that time.There was no explanation as to how the voice cord was damaged, but for sure this has prevented my career from further development, though I still have managed to get jobs at Alstom and Babcock, but the situation in general was pessimistic, as I was having extreme difficulty communicating with others, and even my private life was affected greatly. This illness has been fatal until a few years ago.

Other Reasons
I’ve also changed my career plan just for some ironical reasons.

Harvard ?

When I was ready to go to Harvard for a MPA studies in 1996,my then boss told me to stay in his company, he said the chance at Alstom is more important than the studies at Harvard.I accepted his argument and stopped my study plan at Havard.

China solar portal:

In 2003-2005 my China solar portal www.solaires.com has won popularity among the international solar communities and once a British investor wanted to acquire it at a price of US 15 million but I’ve rejected the acquisition motive because I thought it was part of my life (life is invaluable and hence cannot be sold out) and 15 million US was considered as too low (I’ve estimated it at over 100 million).
Unfortunately due to the more and more stricter restrictions and controls of the Internet imposed by the Chinese communist regime, I was so angry that I have to abandon this valuable solar portal of China.

Jobs with High Salaries:

At times when I was running my solar business there were several job offers with 7-digit salaries I’ve just turned them down because I thought I was able to easily and comfortably earn much more handsome money with my solar and any others.

Who knows what other great chances I’ve lost because I don’t keep tracks of all my career. Even the above mentioned are only discovered recent years.

I’ve been memorizing the above only over the last 3 to 4 years, when my career and life seems stagnating. Earlier I’ve never realized how many great opportunities I have rejected and thus my fate is completely changed, and the influence is so big that now I have to life a life completely out of my own society.

That is, now I have to live like a low class man. Before I was the social elite among the few best respected in China.